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Monday, January 12, 2009

Meet Poor Mom

I was sitting staring out the sliding glass door , at my minescule back yard , Wishing I had grass and room for a swing set for my son . I felt sad . I used to feel sad/ disappointed if I couldn't get the new Coach or Dooney bag ( haven't gotten a new one of those in 3 years ) , blew a paycheck on shoes ( long long time since that kind of fun ) , took off for a weekend with my then boyfriend, now husband ( I can't even remember) .
Now I feel sad over simpler things that have almost nothing to do with me. Not to say I've become suddenly selfless since becoming a mom , it's just that those things don't make me happy or sad anymore . I have wants and needs but usually they start with " we" , as in WE need a new car . Nothing like the I need that new coat , skirt and matching sweater set . In fact I buy all my clothes off the sale rack , and I mean the deeply discounted rack at Target . I only buy clothes if I have somewhere to go , it costs less than $3.00, or it is something I am in desperate need of and can't do without , like underwear . On the other hand my son's closet is chock full of clothes he'll never wear or wear once , and grow out of in 6 months .
I'm not jealous , I take a certain pride that my son has cool clothes and looks cute . I think it reflects well on me , and makes me forget about my own pathetically anorexic closet.

It's just that sometimes , I remember the 6 figure income days , when my husband and I had more money than we knew what to do with and somehow , stupidly, we spent it on crap we can't even find anymore . What I wouldn't do with that blown cash now ! Maybe I'd have 1 pair of maternity jeans that don't have a patch over the hole in the crotch ( Is is just me or are Maternity jeans the absolute flimsiest clothing on the planet ? ). Sure we live in our own home , bought before the kids , when things like swing sets, toys and cribs wern't even considerations. Now we are stuck in this " starter house " until the housing market recovers . We have 2 cars ( neither of which will accomodate 2 adults , 2 carseats and a double stroller) , that we can't sell because no one else can afford them , and we have a boat which we'd love to sell but can't because of , once again, the sucky economy . What else do we have to show for 6 figures ?? not much and certainly nothing we could sell !

Now I stay home and 6 figure days are gone , welcome to 5 digits and one more person ( soon to be another new person ) to feed . So as I sit lamenting about the lush and spacious back yard I DON'T have a bizarre idea crosses my mind , the likes of which I have never considered before , budget . I am excited , I am scared, I am confused ( I'm bad with numbers) . How will I budget us and what will this budget look like ? I guess you and I are going to find out together .

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