The Duggars : lessons in parenting

There's no handbook we get when we give birth to our children. It may sometimes seem like our parents knew everything while we wander around aimlessly simply trying to keep our heads above water with our own kids. A few weeks back I heard the sad news of Michele Duggar giving birth to her 19th baby prematurely. Wether you like, dislike or could care less about "super birthers' like Michele, any mother who has raised 19 decent kids in my opinion, can be considered an expert. So I navigated my way to the family website and came across Michele and her husband's tips on child rearing .

The one tip that jumped out at me was the tip to "praise 10 times more than you punish" . This is probably the most important and difficult aspect of raising a child for me, because that is not how I grew up, and that is not my "natural" instinct. As part of my New Years Resolution to find ways to improve myself I think it's especially important to improve the biggest part of who I am and that's a mom. In every career field you have , sometimes mandatory, staff development programs, and in my working life I attended more seminars than I can shake a stick at . So to me the Duggar's website is a Mom Seminar to improve my parenting skills.

Praising 10 times more than you punish is pretty simple but important step in developing children who have good self esteem, after all how would you respond to someone nagging you all day ( if you're not sure just ask my husband , but that my friends is another resolution all together)) . Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if someone instead praised all the things you did right ? The Duggars also don't believe in empty praise , which I think this generation has confused with real praise . The Duggars praise character traits instead and not actions : for example :

Child picked up their toys independantly

Wrong way : Good Job picking up that stuff

Duggar Way : You are very responsible picking up your toys by yourself , GREAT job !

I think praising instead of punishing will be less stressful for me as well and create a more peacful home . read more Duggar tips on child rearing Here

http://www.duggarfamily.com/faq.html

What Tips do you have for creating a more peaceful , productive home ?

Jami

Learning to FLY ! No more CHAOS in 2010

Do you know someone that is super organized, from their coupon files to their well stocked pantry, everything is always in it's place and their sink is always sparkley clean ? I don't, but in 2010 I want to be THAT person. I am always amazed at people who have it all together and in 2010 , I plan on being one of them .

The first area of my life I need to address is the house. It's not a disaster, at least to the naked eye, but you could go into any room and find at least 20 things that don't belong there. For example I had friends over for a Kiddie New Years party/Playdate and after all the fun was over I noticed, to my embarassment, 2 pairs of DH UNDERWEAR were on the arm of the lounge chair in my livingroom ! They were clean but somehow didn't quite make it into the laundry basket the rest of my folded clothes made it into ..oooops .

I am tired of the CHAOS , "can't have anyone over syndrome" . If someone just showed up on my doorstep on any given day I would be embarassed . No more. I came across a plan , not just an idea of a plan but a step by step plan to be more organized, neater, and less stressed in 2010 and it's called FlyLady . Marla Cilley , aka THE Fly Lady used to have CHAOS , but she found a way to get it together and after 10 plus years in CHAOS recovery she is passing on her very smart tips in a daily step by step email series to get the rest of us into CHAOS recovery as well.

I can only compare Fly Lady to Weight Watchers for the disorganized. It is a little instruction and a whole lot of support. You will actually have people cheering because your kitchen sink is clean "that's the first step to cutting the "CHAOS'. So if you want to grow wings in 2010 and fly above the clutter and disorganization flutter over and join FlyLady today !

Happy New Year

Jami

My Little Monster- Freebie Inside

Mikey , Pre- Monster

Do you have a little monster, I do . He stands about 3 feet tall , weighs around 31 lbs and is 2 and a half . There is no more frightening beast than our little monster and he bears his fangs and claws at least 20 times daily . Kicking screaming, throwing and the ever annoying whine are all too common in my house. My husband and I are scratching our heads, wondering what happened to our sweet and cuddly baby who never cried, slept 12 hours a night pretty much from the start and cried so infrequently we would actually be concerned when he did.

In 2010 I have decided to be a chart person, I see all these charts at friends' homes and I think they are nice visual reminders to do things, or in the case of our little monster to act a certain way . So in my hunt for charts to help the little monster and myself I came across a site chock full of these handy and free visual reminders HERE at FreePrintableBehaviorCharts.com. In fact I love this site so much I am Awarding it my new award ( isn't it fun to have your own blog and dole out awards as you see fit ) The Poor Mom Enrichment Award , for websites that save Moms Time , Sanity and Money . This site is deffinitely a Time and Sanity Saver !

Everything from Behaviour, to feelings, to chore charts are available as well as free advice on how to properly implement them. So if you, like me, are ripping your hair out over bad behaviour or just want to start 2010 out more organized with a sleek new chart system give this website a try.

Did you see our Oral B giveaway ? Enter to get some free Oral B products to brush your little monster's fangs :)

Jami